Breaking Bad | Baking Bad {Series FeLiNa Party}


In Design Trouble? Breaking Bad Withdrawals? Better Call Sa…. Say MY Name.

So our name may not Heisenberg, but we’ll make sacrifices for you to remember our name. Do we have to cook up some blue sky in order to be memorable? I mean, I’ll even include a recipe.

The best show that I hated to watch, and loved to hate, but also hated to love, has now come to an end. {What will my eyes feast on now??} Since all bad things, {and in this case, great things} — come to an end, a proper send off was in order.

My friend hosted a lovely finale viewing party, with home-made Pollos Hermanos, bubbling chemistry beakers with dry ice and blue Hawaiian soda, and a tinth of some blue sky rock candy. I Baked some bad, and made blue velvet ‘bluesky’ cupcakes with Rock Candy Crystal meth sprinkles. I topped it with some chemical elements and a few key players from the show. I left out a few critical ones, but you better believe I included Hector Salamanca. His face was a lot of fun to design — probably because his angry face looks exactly like his happy face.
I definitely had to spell out FeLiNa because the premise behind it is so brilliant:

Last episode of Breaking Bad is titled “Felina
Fe (Iron) Li (Lithium) Na (Sodium),
Or, Blood, Meth & Tears.
Also an anagram for “finale”

A lot of people have been asking me for the blue velvet recipe I used. {And by ‘a lot of people,’ I mean two.} And for these ‘a lot of people’ who don’t know how to use the internet to search for a recipe, I’m posting my modified recipe here! I didn’t have time to make the frosting, because my rock candy food coloring disaster took up a lot of my time, especially since I dabbled in using string to crystalize the candy, when I wanted it done instantly. Don’t use string. Use my recipe below. And don’t overdo it with the dye. Do it right. Get it at Heisenberg level, guys. And please don’t be like Todd and burn the kitchen. Todd is a creep.

I also made s’more kits to pay homage to Gale’s amazing lab notes, which included diagrams on how to fluff the marshmallow. I really wish I could throw in pre-loaded iPods with Gale’s Karaoke Video with Thai subtitles, but then I’d have to cook a batch of real crystal meth to pay for all that.

Unfortunately, I don’t have fat stacks, yo. So my idea of printing Gale’s S’more Recipe on Magnets,{bitch} didn’t happen either.

I hope you enjoy these goodies, I mean, baddies, because I did this all for my family. OK, OK you got me…I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it. And I was really … I was alive.

On that note — Let’s cook.










Blue Velvet Cupcake Recipe:

{I used cream cheese frosting. And I bought it. Don’t judge me.}

2 1/2 cups cake flour
1 1/2 cups sugar
1.5 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 large eggs, at room temperature
1 1/4 cups vegetable oil
1 cup milk with 2 tbsp white vinegar
1 tablespoon Wilton dark blue gel food coloring {I’d recommend wearing HAZ-MAT gloves!}
1 tiny dab Wilton violet gel food coloring
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon white vinegar

Preheat oven to 350 F. Line cupcake pans with paper liners.

In a medium bowl, sift together the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt. In a large bowl, combine the eggs, oil, milk+vinegar mix, food coloring, vanilla, and vinegar. Whisk vigorously until well combined and smooth. Add the dry ingredients to the wet and whisk until smooth, about 1-2 minutes.

Divide the batter evenly among the prepared liners, filling each about 2/3 to 3/4-full. Bake for 17-19 minutes, or until the tops spring back when lightly pressed with your fingertip and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Transfer the pan to a wire rack and let the cupcakes cool for a few minutes then remove them from the pans to cool completely.

Rock Candy “Blue Sky” Crystal Meth Sprinkles

1/2 cup water
3/4 cup light corn syrup {aka diabetes}
2 cups granulated sugar
2 tsp clear flavoring extract
1 drop blue gel food coloring (I used too much. And it got everywhere. Skin, clothes, sink)
Candy thermometer {I used a real thermometer.}

Line a baking sheet with foil and spray the foil with nonstick cooking spray.

In a medium saucepan, combine the water, corn syrup, and granulated sugar. Place the pan over medium-high heat, and stir until the sugar dissolves. Bring the mixture to a boil, then stop stirring and brush down the sides with a wet pastry brush to prevent sugar crystals from forming. Insert a candy thermometer.

Continue to cook the candy without stirring until it reads 290-295 degrees Fahrenheit (143-146 C) on the thermometer. Watch the temperature carefully–a lower temperature might produce sticky candy, while a higher temperature runs the risk of producing green candy! Once at 285, take the pan off the heat and let it sit for a few moments, until bubbles stop breaking on the surface. Add the flavoring and a drop of food coloring, and stir everything together.

Pour the candy onto the prepared baking sheet and tilt it so that it runs into a thin layer. Let it set completely at room temperature.

Once set, break it into small pieces by hand. For the complete “crystal meth” experience, place the pieces in a large zip-top bag and smash them with a rolling pin until they are crushed. Store the candy in an airtight container at room temperature.

About Sadia Khawaja

paper snob.

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